Hi, I’m Sabine Jakobs.

Author & Coach

This is my story.

My foundation was built upon shame as I stayed tethered to what I call the Mosh Pit dance floor for most of my life. That place where we are in auto response, where we just exist in a perceived world of mistrust, and self-hatred. I felt unseen and dirty, and hope was hard to hold onto.

My seeking for answers outside of me never fulfilled my insides, never gave me peace. I absorbed all the lies as my own, suffocating my true essence under all the shame and dirt.

The grooves in my head set from trauma’s, sexual assaults, and abuse kept me chained to a state of existence.

My Ego drove my choices. I made my decisions from a place of shame, fear and unworthiness. I split, separating into different parts of me, and then I’d split some more.

The Mosh Pit kept me asleep to the seeking of an awareness. I was surviving in a very dark world. There were no bright lights, only the dark shadows.

Then something happened. I heard louder than ever a lure to something else. My life wasn’t working, I had all the things that I wanted, but I was so empty inside. The loneliness and heart ache needed to be “fixed”.

So, with courage, I started this journey of moving my grooves. I’ve had to unearth all the beliefs, truths that were built-up inside of me from my childhood. I’m still discovering all the time, and slowly allowing my past to no longer define me. 

Looking for and through the lenses of our perceived truths is what I call the Thrashing Dance Floor. It’s seeking, doing the hard work to heal. Releasing chains that keep me tethered. There’s a consideration for more, a contemplation of the soul, and then reuniting of all the separated parts. I awakened as I learned and recognized what I had become, and who I had become.

I wasn’t happy with the discoveries. Holding onto the great big balls of life, I started the reckoning, resolving to new discoveries of who I could be. This is a difficult process, and sometimes seems never ending.

Then comes acceptance and surrendering. It too is an on-going process. I call this the Harmony Dance Floor. Where the ego and the soul dance together, managing all the shit from my past, healing old wounds that still linger in the back of my mind. I am moving my grooves from self-hatred to self- love.

Of course, the shadows still exist, whenever there is light there will be a shadow. The difference is now, I can choose to lean into the light. My ego and soul can dance together. I can dance with all my separated parts that are slowly being integrated. We step on each-others toes as we learn new steps, and sometimes we fall down. But now I can feel safe, we are connected.

The key for me: I wait a minute now before I respond. That space in that moment is the gift. It gives me the freedom to choose instead of react.

We have all been hurt. We all have wounds. I wish there was an easy way around that. The truth is there aren’t easy answers, or quick and painless dance moves to learn. Its accepting that what happened to us no longer defines what’s “wrong” with us.  There is nothing “wrong” with us.

You can do this with me as we discover the chains that keep you tethered. We can move your engrained grooves of self-doubt, self-hatred. We learn a new dance, with a new song.