Predators Justice

Triggers….

I attended a country concert this weekend and experienced an unexpected emotional outburst. As the artists were performing their hits, I couldn’t help but witness a little girl dancing innocently to each beat. She was about 7 years old, with blonde hair and bright blue eyes and dressed in a cute green sundress, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat shielding her fragile light skin face.

She emanated innocence and freedom.

Suddenly a wave of anger engulfed me. It was a trigger, something drastically stirring within me that I couldn’t grasp. I couldn’t process the pain I was feeling. It’s been 2 days now since that moment, and only now am I beginning to process the rage. There is a fear lurking within me that if I delve too deep inside of me that I’ll become consumed with the anger. 

I hear the words from my therapist, urging me to hold onto compassion and understanding for both myself, and for the predators. I know they were prey themselves, and they live tethered to the Mosh Pit.

But did they endure suffering like I have? Did Karma ever catch up in their lives?

Have they found forgiveness in the eyes of God?

They stole from me: Freedom, Innocence, Safety, Pride, Worthiness. Can I reclaim what was lost? And what about all the other children in this world who have suffered abuse, left scarred and burdened with the shame they’ll carry forever? Where is the justice for us all?

I know this anger I felt is part of the grieving process. This trigger is something I need to explore with curiosity, discuss openly, and release the shame that it holds.

Healing involves paying attention, being brave enough to be curious, and showing yourself compassion.