What am I so afraid of?

I am scared to get to know myself. 

What does it look like to hear my own thoughts, and be aware of their impact on my emotional state?

Do you ever get scared to learn more about yourself?

Can I become friends with all the parts of me?

What about that mean girl? that angry girl? that sad girl? Betrayed girl? Jealous girl? Loving girl? Kind girl?

Holy shit there are a lot of them out there 😊

All these different parts that have been separated for so long – how can I hear what they need? How can I accept that they are a part of me? All of me.

We get so wrapped up in who we are supposed to be and what we should be doing. What about the parts of us that we have kept silent for so long? Can we introduce ourselves and learn more about them? 

Can we give them a voice? Holy shit what would they say?

It feels so much easier to stay comfortably numb. Is it though?

As long as we don’t learn things, we don’t have the pressure to change. Change is uncomfortable. Change is hard.

In order to change we have to be aware – dammit!

We punish ourselves for not being enough, for not doing enough. Sometimes I feel so guilty as I continue to let my past direct my future. My past has defined me for so long, can I let all these parts of me feel safe enough to let go of those definitions?

What do I do with the emotions that come from discovery:

• The Guilt – when I didn’t act from my place of integrity?

• The Anger – for not setting boundaries – for all the injustices? 

• The Sadness – this pain of healing? It is overwhelming

• The Judgement – the dreaded comparisons?

• The Grief – loss of love for all the parts of me?

If I can lean into getting to know myself, be brave enough to explore the triggers that I auto respond to, I can hear all the parts of me. I can give to all my parts, now, what they didn’t get when they were younger. I can be the voice for all of them. I can move the grooves from self-hatred to self-love. I can make different choices from a higher self, from a connection with Divine Love and Guidance.

Breathe, listen, take a minute to pause.

Become friends, explore, know you are safe.

Awareness creates change.

We can do this.